Students as Barometers: Today's Raging Storm of Childhood

It has been a wonky week.

It started off nicely enough, with Monday spent at home for Labor Day, but there was a vibe or undercurrent in the air that seemed to affect quite a few students for the remainder.

It wasn't first-day-of-school excitement and apprehension, and it wasn't the buzzing hum about the holidays that builds from Thanksgiving straight through to winter class parties.  And it resulted in some unpleasant behaviors that began to stretch the patience of classmates rather thin.  

I learned to recognize stress in young children during my twenty-five years of teaching kindergarten, and I've regularly witnessed (and heard about) stress reactions from other older students as I navigated through school hallways during breaks or transitions.  Now that I'm a librarian, I'm seeing a whole range of ages and am encountering diverse behaviors that this week, seem to have been exacerbated by worry and a lack of feeling in control. 

It has been the week leading up to September 11.  We're still smack-dab in the middle of a global pandemic where an alarmingly large number of the adults who are able to receive a treatment that greatly reduces their risk of dying from illness have decided to theatricize themselves as loudly as they possibly can. There's anniversary footage and photos of planes flying into buildings and people plummeting to their deaths and children sobbing draped over coffins everywhere.  Veteran families are experiencing grief over Afghanistan. Children under the age of twelve still can't receive a vaccination and are being hard-hit by RSV as we head into flu season. And then there are the students who have tested positive for COVID, and those who must quarantine due to exposure, likely as a result of decisions that were made by the adults in their lives.

It's not the masks that were negatively impacting the students with whom I spent time this week.  I strongly suspect that it was the aggressive and inconsiderate behavior of adults that was so upsetting for them.  Parents and neighbors are sharing their feelings and thoughts, often loudly, about the state of the world, thinking that the little and not-so-little pitchers in their homes or yards aren't listening.  Televisions are blaring while oversized images of discontent and drama are brought right into the living rooms and bedrooms of many thanks to jumbo-sized screens and surround-sound speaker systems. Adults are actually itching for a fight: you see it and hear about it happening in grocery stores, restaurants, airports and other public places where children are bound to witness it or watch it after such scenes are shared as "entertaining" videos that appear on their parents' phones.

There's a predictable stage in child development that so many seem to have forgotten, too.  Kids mimic what they see and hear.  It was always so sweet when my Super Stars would pretend to cook, take care of baby dolls, and perform/mime other adult rituals such as shopping for groceries or fixing flat tires or cleaning house.  It was never appropriate when they'd blurt out an expletive in anger or throw objects at a classmate with the intention of hurting them because "that's what my daddy does when he's mad at Mommy." Pantomiming pouring Mom another glass of wine or revealing to a playmate that Daddy farts a lot might result in slight parental embarrassment when the teacher shares the stories to lighten the mood during a conference, but it's certainly not entertaining or appropriate when children of any age role-play as their parents with full-blown entitlement or even rage on display. Our children mimic us, which can be a big problem when that behavior isn't appropriate for whatever setting our students find themselves in, and when that behavior is upsetting, confusing and even embarrassing for the children who have to witness adults behaving so appallingly. 

Children are confused by mixed messages as they try to find meaning and their own truth.  

Who is right?  My teachers and the school, or my mom who says teachers, the principal, and the President of the United States are stupid? 

I'm wearing a mask and I get to pick a toy at Walmart today. Why is that man yelling at the cashier and spitting on her?

My dad and his friend say that this is all just a f***ing hoax and that the media is just trying to scare us.  What IS "media," anyway?

My grandma went to the hospital because she got COVID and she died.  Our next-door neighbor says they won't get vaccinated.  Is my friend's grandma going to die too?

Why are my parents watching videos of planes flying into buildings again and again?  They're crying.  I don't think this is a movie.

*****

Some students who visited the library this week needed to vent, cry, and express feelings of frustration. Many needed a respite, some silliness, and some great stories to take their minds off of their worries. They were all perfect barometers, reflecting the numerous, dynamic, and uncomfortable changes that are taking place. Their social-emotional needs and stress levels have been impacted by us, the grownups. So many of us have wholeheartedly abandoned our responsibility as the calm in the raging storm of childhood.

Shame on us.

*****

I didn't actively promote books about today.  I simply pulled a selection from our shelves and displayed them on a countertop for the week. Only three were left at dismissal yesterday.

And the great stories that I shared?  They were all about silly pirates. By the end of each class, students were shouting "SHIVER ME TIMBERS" and "AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS," because pirates were our happy distraction from everything else. I'm hoping that the books they checked out help to fill more of their time and thoughts with humor, factual information, and imagination.